Mr Guru was talking to me about happines and opening my heart and bullshit.
Saying he could help me and shit...
The thing with help , is I had help before , even that I didnt share and let them help me as much as i could i gone to therapy before.
Those place only give me fake hope.
Because when you think everything got nice and shinny , something happens or someone fucks you over.
It just happens over and over and over , and the higher I go up the ladder the harder I fall back down.
So no thanks , I'm good in my pool of shit.
Nothing even has to happen for me to feel sad , in fact sometimes I really feel like shit in momments that other people would consider happy or nice , but then boom the smallest thing brings me a memory that shatters me to pieces , the memory of someone I once was or something good i had .
And that's all it takes a small tiny tiny memory to send it all to shit.
Just a memory to make me hate myself and remind me I fucked up , I have plenty of those memories to remember .
I'm fucked up.
So no , you can't help me. Some people are just fuck ups and I'm the number one .
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