No trust

I have no trust left .

And I'm scared that someday someone will try to get close to me , and I will shut them out, and they'll think is because they are not good enough.

I don't want anyone to feel like I do.

And I want to live and laugh and love and feel butterflies in my stomach again and find someone to be my all.
But I know the moment I trust everything will go to shit.
Maybe is myself I don't have trust on , because I know I'll fuck up and they'll stop liking me.

And it happens everytime , even when they are the ones who asked me out, they get dissapointed I guess , with who I am and who they thought I would be.

I can feel everyone being dissapointed at me, and it makes me want to swallow a handful of pills right in the moment that I think about it.

Why would someone want to stay with me ? I'm a fraud , everyone else is better than me , more normal and more beautiful.

No one in the right mind would chose a broken sock over new vans.